Lorde is all in on the Virgin era, with her new album set for release later this month. So, she’s ready to look back at Solar Power and admit that the persona she cultivated didn’t necessarily feel authentic to herself.

On a new episode of Therapuss, Lorde explained:

“It was also so crazy touring Melodrama. I found it very intense for that whole time to be in this hardcore music [atmosphere] every night. I don’t know, for some reason I found it pretty intense and I just wanted something that felt very light and easy after that. It was cool. I love ‘Solar Power’ so much, and I truly needed to make it. I wouldn’t be here with another album if I hadn’t made Solar Power.

But I think it showed me that you sort of have no choice but to be who you’re supposed to be. Me sort of disappearing and being all wafty and on the beach, I was just like, ‘Actually, I don’t think this is me.’ I think I just am this person whose meant to make these bangers that f*ck us all up, that just rip across a festival ground. I’m supposed to do that to our bodies. I don’t think I’m supposed to vibe out.”

Watch the full interview above.